As I do every year, I watched the Academy Awards with a few friends. We meet at one friend’s house, enjoy a potluck dinner and gab about the dresses, the emcee(s), the Academy winners and losers. This year had its usual fill of beautiful and not so beautiful moments. We can learn many etiquette lessons by watching the Academy Awards.  Here are my notes on the good, the bad and the ugly moments of this year’s show.

Let’s start with the “Bad”

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I recently taught a social skills etiquette class to some high school students from Puget Sound Community School. One of the topics I covered was poise. I asked my students what poise meant to them. They replied “good posture”, “being confident” and “grace”. While those are part of poise there is more to it.

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I stopped in the grocery store the other day, looking for a special item in addition to the ginger snap cookies my husband had requested. I didn’t find what I wanted but in addition to the ginger snaps I grabbed a bag of potato chips that were calling to me and some jelly beans for my kid’s etiquette class. 

As I paid for my three junk food items the clerk, who kept staring at me, asked me if I was feeling alright. He said my skin color didn’t look right. I thought of saying “Oh don’t worry, I eat an apple once a week to make sure I get my vitamins.” Kidding aside, I was both angry and embarrassed he asked me such a personal question. While he may have meant well, it was not his place to comment.

It is rude to ask questions of such a personal nature. Do not ask people things like how they broke their arm, got their black eye, if they color their hair, etc. While you may be dying to know the answer, be mannerly and forgo the curiosity. People will share their stories with you if they want you to know. Make sense? Good, now I’ve go to go and eat an apple.

I recently wrapped up my 14 week kindness “class”. This class was offered to the general public by the Puget Sound Community School, a private school in Seattle for 11 to 18 year olds. The school founder, Andy Smallman, created the class “to start ripples of kindness that will be felt in far away places, touching others and creating even more kind acts.”

Each Sunday we were given assignments to perform that week. The assignments ranged from doing something kind for ourselves, because you can’t be kind to others if you’re not kind to yourself, to doing something kind anonymously to leaving something nice for someone to find, etc.

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I’ve been asked to teach a kid’s etiquette class to both boys and girls. As I’ve been putting together the curriculum, I had to pause when it came to teaching appropriate behavior for boys for treating girls and women in this modern day. I wondered should men still be expected to open the door for a woman, to pull her chair out, help her with her bags, walk on the street side of the sidewalk to protect her from splashes, etc.?

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I just attended a small business roundtable group which serves as a forum for entrepreneurs seeking business advice and mentoring. The facilitator couldn’t be there so we were on our own to lead the discussion with a couple of suggested topics. Unfortunately that led to trouble.

We started out talking about economic projections but a couple of people moved the discussion to politics. Only a few people participated in the political conversation and they all seemed to agree with each other. There seemed to be an assumption that we all felt the same way. I was very uncomfortable and I suspect I wasn’t the only one.

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Thanksgiving is almost here and with the holiday comes etiquette challenges. Make your Thanksgiving a happy occasion by following these tips.

Approach Thanksgiving with a giving heart

While you may not look forward to seeing loud Uncle Joe or crazy cousin Sally this is a time to be gracious and kind even to those who irritate you. Don’t engage in conflict or arguments. Let others “win” or steer the conversation to something more neutral. [...]

There is quite a buzz about the H1N1 or swine flu. And, for good reason given how dangerous it’s proving to be with younger people. Here are a few things you can do to protect yourself and others from getting sick. [...]