My husband and I had the most wonderful bike ride through the Skagit Valley. The clouds cleared and it was sunny most of the 62 miles. We marveled at how picturesque it was through the flat, mostly farmland. 

Our ride took us past farm after farm growing a variety of crops including potatoes, wheat, silage, cabbage, squash, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and corn. Farming is a foreign world to us so it was really interesting seeing the various farm implements, barns, and other farming accoutrement. 

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I adore my etiquette teacher, Maria Everding, a gracious, funny, ball of fire. I attended Maria’s etiquette school – The Etiquette Institute– to learn all that I needed to know to become an etiquette consultant. I often turn to Maria for advice or perspective. She is also not afraid to tell me when she feels I’m wrong. Her latest email was about a question I posted on the Image and Etiquette Consultant’s group I created on LinkedIn where I called a woman a “gal”. This is Maria’s email:

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This depressing, unending cold, wet weather is making even the most gracious, positive people complain. I’ll be honest, it’s easy for me to complain, but I had a little flash of insight about complaining the other day while riding our tandem with my husband in the cold rain.

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The other day my husband, Eric, and I grabbed a fast dinner at Whole Foods Market. We love the variety of options and how easy it is to get a quick meal.

As I was enjoying my chicken mole I noticed a very nicely dressed family sit down near us with their dinner. They must have been at a formal event because they definitely stood out amongst the rest of the jeans and t-shirt crowd. The family was a mom, dad and their son, who looked to be about 11 or 12. I had to laugh because the boy had chosen a sensible dinner of salmon but no vegetables. I surmised that the parents had given up fighting him to eat his veggies because they didn’t seem to be bothered by his choice.

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I sometimes get out my Amy Vanderbilt’s Everyday Etiquette book to see how much etiquette has changed since the book was written in the 1950s. There is a section on when a man should remove his hat and one on where a secretary should put her steno dictation pad when meeting with her boss. While most men don’t wear formal hats, secretaries are now executive assistants and dictation has been replaced by email, those scenarios were about respect and respect is still important for a profitable, happy workplace. 

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My husband Eric and I received a high school graduation announcement for our neighbor Catherine, who lives across the street. It’s hard to believe this young woman will soon be leaving home and heading to college. It seems like just yesterday she was a little girl playing with dolls.

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I recently asked my Facebook likes how they feel about people talking on cell phones in public places like the grocery store or coffee shop. Several people responded that they hated it and yet some of those same people stated that they do it themselves. I had to admit that often when doing the weekly grocery shopping I will call my husband, who makes the grocery list, for clarification. But, I do it very quietly and out of the way of others.  

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My friend, Peggy Dolane, writer and social media expert , suggested I write a blog post about our 24/7-reachable-anytime-world. She wondered what the etiquette is about sending and responding to emails after hours. Good question Peggy.

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In almost all of my classes I teach how to have a confident handshake. While it may seem like a really small thing, your handshake actually speaks volumes about you. You want to be sure it expresses that you are a confident, professional person. I saw this video about the 10 different handshakes and thought it did a good job of explaining what each handshake says about you. See if you fall into one of the deadly nine or the perfect ten.

A good handshake is one where you put your hand fully in the other person’s hand, web to web. It’s accompanied with good eye contact and a smile. The grip is firm, but not bone crushing. Both men and women shake hands the same way. Men, no need to be delicate with women. Women no need to hold your hand as if it’s going to be kissed or you’re afraid to touch the other person.

Make sure your handshake is not giving a bad impression about you.

Yesterday I presented my Networking with Ease presentation to 120 people at the Greater Seattle Chamber “Focus On” series. As usual, my audience asked some really great questions. One man asked if someone should tone down their over-the-top energy when they are networking. It was an interesting question and one I hadn’t been asked before.

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