There is an advice column I read in the Seattle Times called “Ask Amy”. This past Sunday’s advice seeker stated he and his wife received a wedding shower invitation where not only was a cash gift requested but a dollar amount was specified. “Perturbed in Seattle” felt it was very bad etiquette, while his wife felt it was more acceptable this day and age. Amy stated they were both right.
Asking people for money, especially a specific amount is rude and in bad taste. It says “I’m greedy and I only care about you for your money.” Wedding showers, baby showers and bridal showers are held to “shower” the guest of honor with gifts, but to blatantly ask for money is not appropriate. Instead, those attending the party should ask the host if the bride (and groom) have registered somewhere or if they need anything in particular.
And, speaking of hosting, a mother or close family member should never host a bridal shower, as it would appear greedy for the family to ask for gifts for their own family members.
Unlike a wedding, If you decline a bridal shower invitation you do not need to send a gift.
It may be the 21st century where things are a little less formal, but it will never be proper to ask for money or gifts in a shower or wedding invitation.
Readers, what has been your experience with this? Have you been the recipient of a shower invitation asking for money or gifts? How did you feel about this?