The Trouble with “You Guys”

I have a problem. It’s something I’ve struggled with for a long time and until recently didn’t realize how serious the problem was. I’m working on changing, but it hasn’t been easy, especially since most people have the same problem. It’s a “you guys” problem. As in, “Have you guys seen the movie Avatar?” Those in the south use “y’all” instead of “you guys”. Either way, it’s improper English and needs to go away.

Why is it that we feel we need to add an extra word after “you” when we are talking about a group? “You” is both a singular and plural pronoun, so there is no need to add “guys” or “all” after the word.

As I’ve been working on eliminating the phrase from my vocabulary I’ve been amazed by how many people use it; even highly educated professionals who I would think would know better. In fact, after telling my husband, Eric, that I needed to stop saying “you guys” and him smugly saying yes I did need to stop, I later heard him say it several times. So, therein lies the problem. I’m surrounded by people using the phrase. It’s really hard to escape “you guys”.

Well, they say awareness is the first step to changing a bad habit. In the past, I never even noticed I said it, let alone others. Now I notice it every time and I wince when it comes out of my mouth.

Eric and I decided to charge each other a quarter every time we hear the other utter the ugly phrase. I’m hoping the sin jar doesn’t get too full before we’re able to remove all “you guys” from our vocabulary, but if it takes a while to break the habit, maybe we can afford some English classes. Ha, wouldn’t that be ironic; me, an English Literature major, taking English classes. Sigh. Well, see you guys later. Argh, I mean, see you later.

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lfleming 5 pts

I am currently student teaching and my co-op pointed out that I often address the class as, "you guys." I will say, "you guys need to take out your books." How can I change this habbit? I also say, "you guys did really good." I understand that I use "good/well" in the wrong context when I am speaking. When speaking, everything just flows, informal language is hard to avoid. Any suggestions?

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ArdenClise 16 pts moderator

lfleming

Thank you for commenting. It's a hard habit to break. When I was getting trained to be a trainer at Washington Mutual my trainer consistently marked me down for saying "you guys". I had the hardest time breaking the habit. I continued to use the offending phrase until I learned how offensive it can be and that it's not proper english.

The first step for me to stop saying "you guys" was to catch myself saying it. I also started to pay attention to how many people use the phrase. Eventually I could catch myself before I said it. It takes work, but if you consciously work on it you will stop saying it.

What you might consider is asking your friends and family to let you know when you use the phrase or incorrect words. Sometimes we just don't hear it. Slowly after being told by others you'll start noticing it yourself. Remind yourself that when you're addressing a group you don't need to add "guys", "you" is just fine.

Good luck!

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Justin Van Elsberg

This post makes some very valid points. At the same time, "You" seems dissatisfactory when addressing more than one person, in part because we commonly say "you" when referring to an individual on familiar terms. Something about speaking to a group brings want for some sort of address- something to call the group. A scenario: Approaching friends, one says "Hey you," everyone looks around confusedly as to which 'you' is being addressed. It is difficult to find proper address. Here are a couple I have found (Note that these are all encompassing rather than separating- necessary language for rapport and self-other identification): a. "Friends" (Romanesque, friendly, relatively powerful for the speaker). Ex. "What do we say friends?" (note the we). b. "We" Ex. "What do we think" in place of "What do you guys think?"; "We did a great job." Now that I am processing this a little more, all encompassing terms which include the self when addressing the group seem the best way to go. Depending on the context of both the situation and the sentence, the shift can be made as to which all-encompassing term to use, but without sounding foolish or excluded (which will lessen the impact of what you say) it is difficult to address a group or audience as something separate from the self. And why try? Hubris or fear of conformity are the only reasons I find. If anyone else can think of alternatives, please post!

Arden Clise

Great points Justin! It is really hard not having a word that encompasses a group. I like your ideas and the inclusivity of "We".

When I need to address a group I say "all of you" or "you three". It's cumbersome, but it gets easier.

Thank you for posting!

Keridwyn

I'm with Jen. If you're talking to one person and making plans that include multiple people that are present but may not be listening, "you guys" is appropriate. Only if all parties are listening is it "wrong." Is there anything wrong with "you all" or is it just the word "guys" that bothers you?

@Keridwyn, you're right, it can be confusing if you say "you" to a group and don't clarify who in the group you're referring to - the whole group, just a couple in the group, or one person especially when some aren't listenting. I don't like "you guys" because it is slang and not proper english. Also, I don't like that "guys" is used to refer to women. "You all" is not proper english, it would be best to say "all of you".

It makes it more challenging to refer to a group, but as I said to Jon it can be done; "What do all of you have planned for the weekend?", "Do you and Bob have a movie in mind?"...

@Carole, oh yes, we etiquette experts are not perfect by any means. But, etiquette makes me be better and certainly learn from my mistakes.

@Jon, yes, "you" can be confusing when used to speak to a group. But I'm finding there are things I can say instead like "What do all of you think about..." or "Would you two like to join us for a movie?" It certainly takes practice to come up with different words or phrases to avoid using "you guys".

Carole

This is a very comforting article! It's nice to know even an etiquette expert can get tripped up once in a while. There's hope for the rest of us, all of us guys--and gals!

Jon

Because the "you" can refer to either an individual or a group, sometimes it is needed to clarify what you mean and avoid possible misinterpretation. Because it is sometimes necessary, it is logical that people would, out of caution or habit, use it in all instances without stopping to think if it is actually needed in any given case.

Julie Peterson

Here here! Down with you guys. I really roll my eyes when a waitress says it to a table of women.

The Trouble with “You Guys”

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